John Bolton Renovates NYC CO-OP Into Doomsday Bunker

NEW YORK CITY…12/09/07 3:48am EST…Former U.N. Appointee John Bolton gave a rare telephone interview this morning from his fortified home in New York. Located in an unspecified area of Manhattan, all that is known publicly about Bolton's fortification is that “it was formerly a co-op, with a view of the Hudson.” Stated Bolton, “I met a lot of resistance when I attempted to buy in…I didn’t have the votes…so I visited the Coop-President, and after successful negotiations, it was decided this voting nonsense was a threat to domestic habitation.” Stated Bolton, “The Coop-President not only brokered the sale of the unit I sought, but also the sale of every other unit to me.” Gloated Bolton, “I live by the Golden Rule…he who has the gold, makes the rules."

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VIDEO BELOW: "J-BOLT" MAKING AMERICA PROUD

Sen. Lieberman: "Let's Attack Iran Anyway"

NEW HAVEN, CT...12/03/07...12:05pm EST...On Monday Senator Joseph Lieberman (R CT) spoke at a luncheon for supporters at his home. Regarding the recently released NIE, which concluded Iran abandoned its nuclear weapons program in 2003, Lieberman cautioned the world "not to rely too heavily on U.S. intelligence." Lieberman stated, "I know Iran is building a death-star in outer space - I just know it. So me, Luke.....ummm, Cheney, Rummy, Wolfy and J-Bolt are drawing up plans for America to invade itself. And after that, I personally am gonna give Ahmadinejad the ass wringing of his life." Looking up from her hamburger, Mrs. Lieberman added, "Did you say something, Honey?"
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VIDEO BELOW: GOOD ANALYSIS OF LIEBERMAN